Hey sports fans, 

Law school is back so free time is once again on the endangered species list; however I wanted to squeeze out a quick sports related post before I retreat into my hole for the semester. So here we go.

If you follow one sports team, you probably follow more than one. Realistically you probably have at least one preferred team in every major sport (the local team being the default choice). More often than not some of these teams will be doing well, while others will be doing poorly. So at any one point there will be lots of balls in the air, so to speak.

To determine your mood as a sports fan you need to weigh your relative attachment to each team individually. For example if you’re a big baseball fan from the Bay Area, a San Francisco Giants’ win is worth more to you than a win for the 49ers. We all do this balancing on some level, but I wanted to measure my allegiances to see just how much (or little) I care about certain teams. So what follows is a tiered ranking of the sports entities that I follow. (I prefer a tiered ranking to a strictly ordinal positioning, since the latter is often too subjective and involves the splitting of hairs that don’t really exist.)

Tier 1, In My Blood: San Francisco Giants, San Francisco 49ers, United States Men’s National Soccer Team

 The top tier is reserved for teams with which I share a deep, lasting bond. Lots of friends and family also care about these guys, so any success achieved is shared throughout my community. Any time these teams lose, the pain is undeniable. Conversely any and all victories reaffirm my faith in the world. If I had to put a 1A, it’d be the USMNT, mostly because winning the World Cup would be an immensely satisfying diplomatic victory. Sadly that’s about as likely as the Ivory-billed Woodpecker being found alive (i.e., it’s not happening).

Tier 2, Burning Passions: Liverpool FC, Golden State Warriors, Tiger Woods

The members of this tier are really, really fun to cheer for, and truth be told I spend more time watching their games then the teams in Tier 1 (also they play more often). Liverpool and Golden State are recent flings of mine that are developing into full-fledged romances, however both lack the pedigree of a childhood obsession that the top tier teams possess. Also I have fewer fellow fans to celebrate with, since Liverpool isn’t local and the Warriors haven’t been good for very long. Tiger gets a spot because watching him in contention on a Major Sunday is one of the most entertaining things in all of sports. His presence in a tournament single-handedly determines whether I’ll be watching four days of golf or doing pretty much anything else.

Tier 3, We Have History, but I’ll Distance Myself If I Have to: Florida Gators Football, Stanford Football, French Men’s National Soccer Team:

 Having two potential competitors on the same tier should be a no-no, but whatever, that’s just the case and we’ll survive. College football is one of my favorite sports but my undergrad institution thinks having a team would be bad for morale, so I’m a sailor without a ship. The Gators are the team of my youth and rank just slightly above the Cardinal in terms of my loyalty. However since I’m not truly engaged to either I can back away when the losses are too painful (I’m looking at you Rose Bowl). Similarly, Les Bleus (Team France) is a favorite of mine that is far enough removed from my everyday life to not cause me instant grief or joy.

Tier 4, Reserving A Spot On The Bandwagon: San Jose Sharks, San Jose Earthquakes, Duke Basketball, United States Women’s National Soccer Team

I like these teams, I want them to win, but I don’t need to follow their every move. Wake me up once we make the playoffs.

Tier 5, For Some Reason I Like You: The Buffalo Bills, Paris Saint-Germain, Napoli, English Men’s National Soccer Team

 If any of these guys are playing a neutral, I wish them well. Since pretty much every team they’re likely to play is a neutral to me, I guess you’d call me a fan.

 Bonus Tier, Teams I Love to Loathe: Los Angeles Dodgers, Miami Heat, Mexico Men’s National Soccer Team, Manchester United, Dallas Cowboys

Some of these are rivals of my loves, some are just showboating tools with crappy fans in fair-weather markets with more Sportscenter coverage than they deserve. A loss for one of these guys is roughly equivalent to a win for a tier 3 team.

Anyway those are the tiers, sorry for the rush job on this post. The actual contents of my tiers shouldn’t be incredibly interesting to any of you, but I found it a fun exercise as a sports fan, and I’d be curious to see what other people come up with for their own fandom pyramid. Also it would be interesting to assign numerical values to wins/losses for the different tiers so that at any given point you could calculate your precise happiness as a fan. But alas I have torts reading to do.

 All the best, see you at the end of the semester.