American Paihia

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So the title only works if you know the pronunciation (Pie-heah). Anyway…

I am in a tiny little town called Paihia on the Bay of Islands, about 4 hours north of Auckland. I looked up the population online and it says 1700 but right now it must be about half of that. It’s a small resort town and a seasonal getaway for wealthy Aucklanders, most of whom own expensive homes in the area that are only lived in a few weeks out of the year. You can walk from one end of the town to the other in about 20 minutes, and I’m reminded everyday of Isla Vista. Well, an Isla Vista with only 10% of its population.

The backpackers I am staying and working at is called the Saltwater Lodge, and is about 30 seconds from two bars and the beach. It’s a two-story building with about 16 rooms, a large patio and lounge area. I am one of 6 or so “workawayers” or “woofers”: guests who stay for free in exchange for about 3 hours of work a day. We all stay in the same dorm room, and right now I am the only American and the only male. While being the only guy on staff sounds great on paper, in reality it means I am permanently assigned trash duty and heavy lifting. My mornings (10-1:30 approx) mostly involve sorting through recycling, emptying a few dozen trash cans, and being called in every 20 minutes or so to move a bunk bed or couch. In short I have lots of “Charlie Work” (Sunny in Philadelphia) and a healthy respect for anyone who cleans for a living. On the plus side I find lots of fun treasures in the trash, and I get to listen to music while I work.

The other staff include Julia, Mona, and Myriam from Germany. There is Servane from France, and a Chinese and Taiwanese girl who names I unfortunately won’t be able to spell. Everyone of us is here on our own and there is definitely a sense of solidarity in the group; a sense that comes from having to clean up the mess of everyone else staying here.

The local bar scene isn’t great but it’s definitely good enough. There is an adjacent bar (The Saltwater Pub) and a backpackers bar a little ways down the street that has sand covering its floor. Alcohol is really expensive here, about 25-30 NZ dollars for a 12 pack of beer or hard cider. I’ve started to pregame with wine because it packs the best alcohol to dollar ratio, and the staff and I usually play Kings Cup or some such nonsense before heading out.

I’ve watched a few rugby games at the Saltwater Pub too. The big league here is known as Super Rugby or Super 15. It has five clubs each from New Zealand, Australia, and South Africa. In essence it’s a Champions League for Rugby and is the biggest club tournament in the Southern Hemisphere. The games were pretty interesting and I am looking forward to seeing more next weekend,. The quick notes I made were that they have instant replay, advantage play, and the refs wear pink. Also some old guy next to me said they call soccer “kick and kiss”, because they run around kicking the ball until someone scores, and then they all kiss each other. Other random notes on New Zealand: they say zed instead of z, coolers are known as chilly bins, and making fun of Australians is a national past time.

I have five days about left working at the Saltwater Lodge. After that I think I will be moving in with a young family that runs a small kayak touring business in town. I met the owner, Taylor, through workaway and he let me tag along on one of his kayak tours yesterday. He and his wife seem like really nice people and I’m looking forward to working for them and getting to stick around in Paihia for longer.

I’ll have more details when I get to know this place better but for now I am having a good time and feel like I’ve found a pretty special little corner of the world. I do really miss March Madness though.

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A few nights in Auckland

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So I just got to Paihia (pronounced Pie-Hee-ah) on the Eastern half of the North Peninsula above Auckland, about a four hour bus ride from the city. The hostel I’m stationed at, The Saltwalter Lodge, is really clean and open. I’ve only met a few people so far but the place is currently swarming with Danes. Apparently there is a big student group of some sort and about 3 dozen Scandinavians are walking around speaking gibberish. According to my German roommates they are absolutely nuts, and I’m looking forward to seeing all the stupid drunk antics they may get up to later.

Anyway, my days in Auckland included an ungodly amount of walking. I owe a big debt of gratitude to the elliptical back home, because without months of slow-motion cardio training I fear I wouldn’t have lasted. My first half day isn’t really worth mentioning because I was so sleep-deprived that nothing I accomplished is interesting to anyone at all, including mysellf. The best thing I did that first afternoon was stumble into a Malaysian restaurant and eat a noodle dish called Char Kway Teow, which I highly recommend to anyone who finds themselves dining with the Prime Minister of Claymation (Zoolander reference for the confused).

So the next morning I thought it would be fun to walk to my new hostel rather than take taxi or ask an information kiosk for the proper bus. With my 28 pound bag on my back I walked for three hours, mostly uphill, to the Auckland suburb of Mount Eden, where the Bamber House is located. Once I did get there I found a really nice house tucked away in the middle of a residential area. The majority of the guests there were long-term residents and the place had a “co-op” feel to it, or maybe a low budget version of the Real World where the residents don’t party as much. As I remember it there was Brendan and Jazz (short for Jasmine) from Toronto, Matt, Peter, and Vicky from Ireland, Frankie (a girl) and Trudy from the West Midlands in the UK, and Mathue (sp.?) and Sebastian from Toullouse and Bordeaux respectively. All of them had come to New Zealand looking for work and as far as I can tell most of them had found it. The two French guys in particular both mentioned the dismal job situation back home, while the Irish folks whined about how their homeland was too small and had awful weather. My time there was pleasant but I felt a little like an interloper, since my stay was so short compared to all of theirs. The whole thing was worth it though if just to hear all of the accents.

The two highlights of Auckland for me were Mt. Eden and Waiheke Island. Mt. Eden was a few minutes from my hostel and provided some amazing views of Auckland and beyond. I asked a girl there to take a picture for me, and she obligingly took a photo of the skyline without me in frame (one, of course, I could have taken myself). After a quick tutorial she took one with me in it, featured below.

Waiheke Island is a 30 minute ferry ride north of Auckland, and was really quite astonishing. It’s a fairly big island and requires a bus or two to get all the way across. I decided to turn left out of the dock and walk along the beach, and was rewarded with a four hour hike where I didn’t see a single person and ran out of water halfway through.

A quick, semi-related side note here on tanning. Now, anyone near as pale as me knows that the original “base tan” is one of the most important stages. Not only does a base tan start to build a UV tolerance in the skin, but the original unveiling of your/my ivory torso can lead to others sniggering. (Which, by the way, is crap. Clearly I’m pale otherwise I wouldn’t be tanning.) So imagine my delight when I discovered my own private beach to lay out on, without fear of strangers’ mockery. I spent a solid hour on the beach, finishing up the Great Gatsby, and then proceeded to walk around the coast and bush for three hours. I only received a minor sunburn halfway down my back, where apparently my two hands couldn’t reach. This will now be known as the “lonely man’s burn”.

So Waiheke Island was fantastic, and I’ve thrown a couple of photos down below. If anyone finds themselves in Auckland this island should be atop their list, and be sure to give it a whole day since the place is so big. Also I saw about a dozen new birds, which I’ll try and include in a separate post later.

As I said in the beginning I’m at the Saltwater Lodge in Paihia. It’s a little windy but really warm and sunny, and apparently a t-shirt and shorts are all that is required when going out at night. I’m hoping to watch a Rugby Match on TV tonight (Chiefs v. Highlanders) and then I start work a 10 tomorrow morning. Sweet-as.

*I can’t figure out the photos exactly so I’ve just thrown them all together down below.

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Greetings from Auckland

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Hey there friends!

Before we get things started I’d like to say a quick word about blogs. Since I first heard the word I’ve associated blogging with tools of all shapes and sizes: from hipsters to neckbeards to whiny intellectual wannabees. To me a blog sounded like a publicized diary that inherently shows an inflated sense of self-importance and need for attention, and frankly I was having none of it. In fact I still feel that way to some degree, as you can probably tell from the fact that I’m including this disclaimer. I cringe a little inside when telling people to “follow my blog”, because it makes me feel like someone with a constantly updated Facebook Status. But alas, here I am anyway, with my own url to boot. I guess what I’m trying to say is please don’t read what I put up here out of any kind of obligation to me. I (kind of) enjoy writing, and having an (admittedly tiny) audience serves as solid motivation for me to sit down and type. But I’ll feel a lot better knowing, or at least thinking, that those reading my stuff are doing so because they enjoy it, not because they feel compelled to. So with that in mind, I hope you enjoy my stories, and feedback is always appreciated. Except for grammar/syntax corrections; those you should keep those to yourselves.

Anyway, I’m here safe and sound in Auckland, New Zealand. I lucked out big time on my flight; very last row and seated next to a kickass old man who moved to an open row and let me have two seats to myself. When I describe this senior as kickass, I absolutely mean it. This gentleman, first name Thorpe, is an 83 year old Korean War Vet, Harvard and Columbia educated doctor, and started the largest malpractice insurance company in Washington State. He picked tobacco for 10 cents an hour during the Great Depression, currently spends his retirement trading options, and has been married for 52 years (his wife was sitting in 1st Class). He did do some weird old guy things, like accidentally take my fleece (I spent half the flight looking for it) and had a great deal of difficulty working his headphones. Also for all I know all his cool stories were blatant lies and really he spent his adult life directing pornography in the Valley. But I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt; pretty cool dude to be stuck next to on 13 hour flight.

I watched Wreck-it-Ralf on the plane, a solid B+ movie. Maybe it was the Ambien, but I thought the numerous candy-related puns were hilarious. The script showed a lot of creativity in how they tied all the different elements of arcade games together. Or maybe it didn’t. Some commercial for the movie that I saw a while back had a critic praising the film for it’s creativity, so I’m not really able to separate that preconceived notion from whatever my own opinion woud’ve been without that commercial. Either way, decent movie.

I’ve only been in New Zealand for a few hours so I don’t have much to report. It’s overcast and a little drizzly, which is apparently a good thing since the North Island has been having a bit of drought this year. There is a nice warm wind so it’s not bad at all, and frankly I’m too tired to care even if it was snowing. The few people I’ve interacted with so far (bus driver, cafe owner, hotel receptionist) have been stereotypically friendly. Auckland seems like it might be a bit expensive relative to the rest of New Zealand, so I’ll keep an eye out as I go.

I’ll be in Auckland for the next three nights and then I’m hopping on a bus to Paihia in the Bay of Islands, where I’ll be working for my room and board at the Saltwater Backpacker’s Lodge. If you need me go head and throw me an email and I’ll get back to you fairly quickly.

P.S. No new birds yet, just a bunch of House Sparrows. Ubiquitous little shits.

Group A : AFC West

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Well, this post may be a bit late for the start of the NFL and Champion’s League (as in two weeks and one game into the respective seasons) but that’s better than never. Here are the teams from each division, matched according to club history, star player similarities, and in some cases. uniform color.

The Oakland Raiders are…..Dinamo Zagreb (Croatia)

  • Dinamo Zagreb are a Croatian team, best know for the fact that they are, well, Croatian. The Raiders are certainly a known commodity to anyone reading this, so I’ll skip their introduction.
  • The clubs are similar mainly for the rabid enthusiastic fan bases. Raiders fans are notorious for dressing like the product of 5th grade nightmares, most likely to distract television viewers from the fact that they play on the last dual sport field in the NFL. Quite frankly I’d also have a chip  on my shoulder (or in this case, spikes) if I had to watch my quarterback get tackled behind 2nd base for half of the season. Meanwhile, supporters of Dinamo Zagreb are referred to as the “Bad Blue Boys”, apparently in reference to a Sean Penn movie (really). The group is among the craziest in the Champions League, and was sited by the Bleacher Report as one of the 16 fan groups you wouldn’t want to mess with. Add to that the fact that many of these fans served in the Croatian army, and you’ve got a great match between the Bad Blue Boys and the Black Hole.

The San Diego Chargers are…. FC Porto (Portugal)

  • Both these teams from the respective Southwest of their divisions. After that, the similarities sort of dry up. FC Porto has actually won the Champions League twice, while Charger fans have no silverware to fondly look back on.
  • One thing to remember about FC Porto, their best player is named Hulk. One name, like Madonna. Which reminds me, I’d love to see a Brazilian rock the single name in an American sports league. Only Hehateme could touch that name.

The Kansas City Chiefs are… Dynamo Kiev (Ukraine)

  • We don’t often turn our attention to Ukraine, unless it’s to make a joke about “Hostel” or Nuclear Fallout. Similarly Kansas City doesn’t get a lot of love except when people look out of their airplane windows on the flight to one of the coasts. That being said, both locations are on the rise. Kansas City is now deemed the “Silicon Prairie”, thanks in large part to Google Fiber, and Ukraine is a now slightly less scary place to visit, due to the cleanups made prior to Euro 2012 (which Ukraine co-hosted).
  • Neither of these teams will make the playoffs, so I guess there’s that.

The Denver Broncos are…Paris Saint-Germain (France)

  • Finally, we reach the heavyweights. Both Denver and PSG are the hot commodities in their groups. The Broncos are headlining thank to the acquisition of Peyton Manning, perhaps the most recognized football player in America. PSG meanwhile have Zlatan Imbrahimovic, a footballer (different than a football player) who is superbly skilled and incredibly toxic as a teammate. Zlatan is part of a spending spree put on by PSGs new Qatari owners, while Peyton certainly didn’t come cheaply to the Broncos.

Hopefully this will give Broncos, Chiefs, Raiders, and Chargers fans a random team to throw their hat in the ring with. If not, at least you’ll know that PSG is a good sleeper team in FIFA.

The Champions League to NFL Translator: An Introduction

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See, I told you I’d have some sports here soon. (And by you, I do mean you. Not very many people read this; I know who you are).

Anyway, what is a sports translator? The idea comes from Men in Blazers, a soccer podcasting and writing duo of Brits who try to educate us Yanks about the beautiful game. The translator in question takes an American sports team you support and finds the equivalent European soccer team. It’s the lift that helps you onto the bandwagon. Here I’m taking their idea to the next logical step: matching the worlds’ most popular soccer tournament (the Champions League) with America’s beautiful obsession (The NFL).

To catch you all up, here is the Champions League in a nutshell. It’s strictly European teams, 32 to be exact, and entry to the “tournament” is determined by each club’s performance last year. For example, the top four teams in the English domestic league from the 2011-2012 are entered into the 2012-2013 Champions League. The top 3 French Teams from 2011-2012 are entered into the 2012-2013 season as well, and so on. The number of teams each country is allotted is determined by how good that country’s league is, as calculated by a bunch of formulas and junk. (If you want to see exactly how this is calculated and how many teams each country gets, click through here).

As a casual fan, all you need to know is that the Champions’ League contains 32 teams from all over Europe. These 32 teams are broken into groups of 4. The teams in these groups play each other twice (at both teams’ home stadiums) and the top 2 advance from each group. Then the final 16 play in a ‘regular’ tournament with single elimination until there is a winner (except that it’s home and home aggregate with away goals as a tie breaker. But whatever, don’t worry about that part yet).

Finally, let’s turn back to the translating part. In each post I’ll match a group of 4 to an NFL division, which also contains 4 teams. Then I’ll equate the teams, predict the winners, etc. Simple as that. A few disclaimers before I do so though..

1. The NFL has a salary cap, European soccer does not. So the later will be more lopsided than the former. Also some of the countries sending teams to the Champions League are much smaller than their opponents’ nations (I’m looking at you Cyprus). This leads to some very exciting home atmospheres, as millionaire athletes from Spain (for example) have to take a 6 hour bus to reach the stadium of their Ukrainian opponents.

2. Champions League groups are randomly selected and differ every year. This doesn’t leave the same room for simmering, long-standing rivalries that the NFL enjoys. Instead, Champions League fans get to hate each other for entertaining nationalist reasons. For example, English fans despise Italian soccer players for their (perceived) showboating and diving. Russians hate Turks, Germans hate Spaniards, and so forth. Often this turns to most of England blindly supporting their “representative” against the foreign side, even if most of these fans usually despise the team they’re rooting for. The American equivalent would be Alabama fans cheering for LSU to beat Texas, based upon “SEC pride”.

3. The Champions League is sponsored by Heineken, and the NFL by Bud Light. Our football watching experiences are inextricably linked with beer commercials, while Champions League viewing results in the Champions League anthem (sponsored by Heineken) being branded into your forebrain.

4. The above three are built in excuses for why my translator will be flawed. Self-handicapping is the best.

Excellent. So, I think that gives you a taste of what’s to come. Please check in soon as I’ll be telling you why Group A is the AFC West of Europe. (Bad news for Raider fans, you guys are the Croatian team)

Animal of the Week: Civet

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The name Civet actually refers to about a dozen different species, but for continuity’s sake I’ll highlight the African Civet below as the group’s representative.

African Civet civettictis civetta

Civets are best described as large mongooses, although you could also imagine them to be otters who figured out how to run. Found in Africa, East Asia, and those islands between Asia and Australia, Civets are nocturnal hunters that will eat anything they can get their paws on. In jungles this means obscure animals and fruits, while in urban environments Civets are known to rummage through trash.

However, these guys are more than just exotic raccoons. In Southeast Asia, the Asian Palm Civet’s droppings help produce the world’s most expensive coffee: Kopi Luwak. Apparently the enzymes in this mammal’s digestive track seep into coffee beans, resulting in much less bitter coffee. I’m not sure how this was first discovered, but since the process doesn’t harm the critter I’m all for it.

“Hey there, I pooped about a mile back. Better go shift through it for some coffee beans!”

Also, Civets produce a musk that is used as a stabilizing agent in cologne. This is less interesting to me than the coffee beans, but I felt it worth mentioning.

Finally, the main reason that I wanted to feature the Civet was this photo…

As hard as a tried, I could not find what specific species this guy is (although I’m convinced it is a civet*). What I did find was an awesome blog post from someone who spent their childhood in India. He describes the bham, an apparently vicious night terror that decapitates newly-born kittens. That last bit alone is well worth making the Civet the Animal of the Week.

 

*Correction to this post. Upon further research, I have found that the species pictured above is the Binturong, or Palawan Bearcat. This animal is closely related to civets, but is in a separate genus and so shouldn’t be referred to as a civet. A Bearcat dedicated post is in our collective future.

Thanks as always to wikipedia, this website (which copied my idea for a blog but whatever), and “Joy Forever” who wrote about the bahm,

Animal of the Week: Raccoon Dog

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Welcome back, to sportsandanimals.com (more sports to follow, I promise). This week’s installment is the Raccoon Dog.

Raccoon Dog Nyctereutes procyonoides

Despite the resemblance, and the nomenclature, this guy is not closely related to the raccoon that we know and love in the US. The Raccoon Dog is in the Canidae (dog) family, and if you had to pick an animal to compare it to, then the fox would probably come closest.

Nyctereutes procyonoides is an omnivore, munching on rodents, amphibians, birds, and all types of fruits and plants. Originally from East Asia (the blue on the range map above), the Raccoon Dog was introduced to Eastern Europe (the red) by the Soviet Union in an effort to increase the quality of the animal’s fur. Unfortunately for this dog, people seem to love the fur (referred to as murmansky fur) and millions are bred in captivity for the fur trade. According to an investigation by three animal rights groups, approximately 1.5 million Raccoon Dogs are raised for fur in China.

Thankfully, the Raccoon Dog is not an endangered species and is fairly common throughout its range. Still, please don’t wear one as a hat.

Thanks as always to wikipedia for the facts and photos, and factzoo.com for one of the photos.

Animal of the Week: Goblin Shark

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Goblin Shark Mitsukurina owstoni

This horror is a deep sea dweller that lives in oceans all over the world, but it is most commonly found in the waters off of Japan. The shark averages about 9 feet in length, is colored a light pink, and has an extendable jaw that is the thing of nightmares. The clip below shows these jaws in action (skip to 30 seconds).

While not endangered, the Goblin Shark is usually seen only a few times a year, mostly as an accidental casualty of deep sea fishing. However in 2003 over 100 were caught near Taiwan, a short while after an earthquake had occurred in the area. Needless to say 100 of these guys hunting in relatively shallow water is not reason for celebration, so think twice before swimming after any earthquakes.

Finally, I should mention that the Goblin Shark is not considered dangerous to humans; just scary.

Thank you to Wikipedia, iucnredlist.org, and discovery.com for information and photos.

Animal of the Week: Cassowary

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Although there are three extant (not extinct) species of cassowary, this Animal of the Week is the:

Southern Cassowary Casurius Casurius.

The Cassowary is a jungle-dwelling bird that looks a cross between an emu and a turkey. The species stands about four feet tall, lives only in Northern Australia and New Guinea, and according to the Guinness Book of World Records the Cassowary is the most dangerous bird in the world.

This last bit stems from the fact that this large flightless bird has powerful legs which it uses to kick box anyone who comes close. On its feet the Cassowary has long talons (think Velociraptor) that can tear open abdomens. Please see below for an example of a cassowary defending its territory.

Cassowaries mainly eat fallen fruit, but they also ingest snakes, spiders, and assorted jungle things. The name Casso Wary comes from the New Guinea words for Horned Head, and it uses this crest like a battering ram to get through thick bush. If you laughed at this last part. you’re immature.

Thank you for taking a few minutes to learn about the Cassowary. And thank to you Wikipedia, AOL Travel  and Birdlife International for knowledge and images.